I know I haven't been in a while - heck I cannot remember when I last posted anything!
First of all, let me give my deepest condolences to Steph, and to all who have lost a dear family menber, since my last posting/visit. I have not gone through all 168 pages.
Not sure where to start, so sorry if I repeat myself.:
Since summer of 2013 I have been employed and unemployed on/off - my longest employment was 1½ yrs, almost 2.
Also in 2013, just before we said hello to 2014, I suffered an injury in my lower part of my back/hips, this is still bugging me. 2 doctors gave me different explanations and my physio did too.
In December 2014 I lost my mom due to complications - kidney failiure, cancer, bowl obstructions - it hurt a lot and I am still not completely over it.
From 2020 my weight went up, due to bad eating and a lot of other things - I suspect a depression, which I have not gotten confirmed. HOwever in 2020 I confronted my family with my thoughts and feelings, which also held suicide throughts (however since I am writing this post) I never followed through, thanks to my doctor and long talks with my family. In January 2021 my doctor applied on my behalft, after several consultations, for a gastrict bypass - my first meeting was held late November 2021. So now I am attending regular meetings, both by myself or in a group. Hopefully my last meeting will be where the doctors gives me a date for the procedure.
2021 was a turbulent year. My dad became ill late May and sadly passed away early August. It was a mix of a lot of things - diabetes, issues with his legs - to make it short: we never got a complete diagnosis - which we have accepted, but it was very hard to loose him.
During the month he was hospitalized, he was tossed between emergency, cardio and rehab, by the last few weeks of his life, he was admitted to the kidney ward (I do not remember the correct termology). When we visited him for the first time in this ward, he was, to our shock, given the same room our mother was in during her stay and subsequently death in 2014. I had to leave his room, seconds after seeing him, because of the shock. I cried.
We talked to the nurses and explained everything - and luckily he was given a new room.
The last time I saw him alive, was the day before he passed away. His girlfriend of 3 years, had stayed by his side during all of this and was the one who saw him pass away - we are still in touch with her, as we (my brother and I) still consider her as part of the family.
The day he passed away I was at work (was on a short term employment and had explained everything to my employer, so I was given the okay to work from home) - his GF called my shortly after 9.30 but I was in a meeting so I called her back afterwards - and the only thing she said to me: call your brother, which I did and that's where I received the sad news. Immediately called my boss and told him what had happend. I have never gotten ready to leave that quickly.
A week later we held his funeral and it was beautiful - a number was played by Pearl Jam "Just breathe" - I cannot listen to it without breaking apart, family and close friends came. The undertaker was luckily our cousin, so we were in great hands. The reception was held at our aunt and uncle's house, they offered their home to us, which we were gratefull for.
After my dad's passing and during his hospitalizion I couldn't function - I was a mess. So I went of sick leave after af few month, which were suggested by my union and consultant at the local unemployment center. I am starting to see a shrink in a few weeks, and shortly thereafter I expect to return to normal. I am in a better state than I was shortly after my dad.
Think I have remebered everything. It's been a loong post.. Hope to become a regular again
hugs and kisses, Hanne